What does NO mean?

Parents often hear NO in regard to food, but I often wonder whether it’s a word that takes on a different meaning around eating than it does in other areas of our child’s life.

If a child doesn’t want to join the soccer club or the ballet school, parents often spend time supporting them around a decision. You lovingly explain that although none of their friends are there, they will build new ones. You discuss how it is something they love to do, and that yes, it will be scary to start but that they will have such a good time once they are over that initial discomfort. Or that they may not be the best at it, but that will come.

If it’s a NO to toothbrushing or bedtime we may empathise but the bottom line is that it does need to be done.

When it comes to food however, we are more likely to take that NO at face value and think “well there’s not a lot I can do if it’s a NO”. And to a degree this is sensible. Eating is something that everyone should have autonomy over. However, there is a difference between “I don’t like olives or cucumber” and “I don’t like anything you serve except the Shapes crackers”.

Also, for the food hesitant, NO can take on a whole host of meanings. Part of resolving fussy eating, is always being aware of what is happening for a child. The more a parent understands, the easier it is to help.

What does NO mean, for young children?

Children LOVE, NO. It is such a powerful word. When a child is first learning language and beginning to determine their place in the world and where their boundaries are, NO can be a big part of the repertoire!

However, when it comes to food, saying NO is not as simple as “I don’t like carrots, will never like carrots, so please stop serving me carrots”. It is important that you don’t take the NO as a request to stop offering a certain type of food.

NO can mean:

1. Curiosity. “I wonder what mum/dad/gran will do if I say NO?” Gauging what will happen in any given situation is an important part of learning for children. Testing the boundaries and…